Open Your Heart
by Nelfy
Summary: Post 3x05, Hope discovers that Maura is her daughter, they deal with the consequences. Will include Rizzles in later chapters, the rating might change, BUT mature warning at the beginning of every chapter if it contains adult content. So far, nothing inappropriate, but some family drama.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Open Your Heart  
**Author:** Nelfy  
**Characters:** Dr. Maura Isles, Det. Jane Rizzoli, Dr. Hope Martin (main), Angela Rizzoli (side character)  
**Rating:** M (for later chapters, will be marked as M)  
**Disclaimer:** These characters are property of Tess Gerritsen/Janet Tamaro and TNT. They do not belong to me. Reimbursement is not received for fictitious works.

**Notes:** I jump right into what I want to happen. Does include some drama and general sadness, but it will be worth it. Feedback is appreciated, as I am still not sure whether to continue this story or not. So any comments, long or short, will keep me going!

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"I just don't know…" Maura looks at Jane, chewing on her bottom lip and smoothing her hands down the dress she is wearing. She sighs and turns around.

When Jane doesn't move from her position on the bed, she looks over her shoulder impatiently. "Unzip, please."

Jane gets up, but instead of walking over to Maura, walks towards the door and opens it.

"You look gorgeous. You'd look gorgeous in any of the outfits you've tried in the past half hour. She'll be here any minute, so just take a minute to collect yourself so you don't break out in hives again."

Jane turns and walks out the door, leaving a fidgeting Maura behind. From the kitchen, Maura can hear Angela and Jane talk, but she doesn't understand what is being said. She turns to look in the mirror again and sighs, smoothing invisible wrinkles out of her dress. She wants to look good for tonight, beautiful and strong, wants to wear an outfit that represents who she is. She sees movement out of the corner of her eye and turns to see Angela enter her bedroom.

"Honey, you look beautiful. Don't worry, she'll be so happy when she finds out you're her daughter." Angela comes closer and opens her arms to hug Maura, but the doctor backs away.

"I'm not telling her. I can't do that to her, she thinks I was a mistake and the baby of an evil man." Tears well up in Maura's eyes and again, Angela tries to hug her, but she backs away even further.

"Oh honey…" Angela sighs. She knows it isn't any of her business, but she still hates seeing her "daughter" in so much pain. "I think she would be very proud to have such an intelligent and accomplished woman as her daughter. I know I'm proud of you, and I'm not even related to you at all."

Maura sniffles and dabs at her eyes with a tissue, making sure not to ruin her perfectly applied makeup. She gives Angela a small smile.

"We better get ready. She will be here any minute." Maura turns and walks into the living room, checking the dinner table and making sure everything is perfect. She looks at the painting lying on the kitchen island, the picture of Hope at "her" grave. Looking at the spot where it had hung for years, she has a moment of doubt, wanting to put the picture up and see if Hope might discover it. But, with a sigh, she puts the painting into a drawer.

"Are you sure you don't want to tell her?" Jane has to ask, just one more time. She feels responsible for the mess Maura has turned into the last few days, since she had been the one to urge Maura to call her biological mother. While she understands her friend's fear, she also believes that it is best to be open and confront your fears.

"I am sure, and don't you dare say anything to her either." Pointing her finger, she looks first at Jane, who nods, then at Angela. "Promise," she says, still looking at the older woman. "Okay, fine, my lips are sealed."

Three heads turn when the door bell rings. Looking at Jane again, hoping for some encouragement, Maura stands rooted in the spot.

"Go on. It will be fine." Jane says softly, carefully pushing her friend towards the door. Maura takes a deep breath and looks back at Jane one more time, before facing the door and pulling it open.

What happens next is unexpected to all of them. Hope, clearly agitated and frazzled, storms in the house, looking first at Maura, then Jane, then Angela and back at Maura.

"You're Paddy Doyle's daughter?"

"How did you…?"

"I had some free time this afternoon, so I decided to read some of your research. Find out about your career. That's when I saw the newspaper articles. When were you born?

Hope demands, out of breath and standing in the middle of the living room. Maura, still holding the door open, opens her mouth, but no sounds come out.

"When were you born?" Hope asks again, her question already implying the answer.

Maura doesn't respond, but simply stares at her mother. She blinks, holding back tears and tries to speak, but nothing comes out.

"Ms. Martin, why don't we all sit down and talk."

"You knew, didn't you. All of you knew. When I first came to help with the fingerprint, all of you knew that I was her mother." Hope looks around, trying to get a response from Jane or Angela. "Why didn't you tell me?" Hope asks, walking closer to Maura, who shrinks away against the wall. She is still silent, tears streaking down her face. "Why didn't you tell me?" Hope asks again, more softly this time. "Are you really my daughter?"

Maura nods, softly, once. She is still crying, silently, as she stares at her mother. Hope reaches out and touches her arm.

"Why didn't you tell me?" The question hangs in the air as neither Jane nor Angela dare to more.

Maura shakes her head, unable to say anything. She is crying and can barely see the woman standing in front of her.

Hope drops her hand and looks at the floor. "If I had know…. I would have never said…"

The two women stand there, Hope staring at Maura while Maura stars at the floor, trying so desperately to hold back the tears that are still streaming down her face.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean…" Hope touches Maura's arm again, a last attempt to engage her daughter, before she turns and leaves the house.

"Maura!" Jane says, walking over to the door to watch Hope leave. Maura looks at Jane and starts to sob, falling against her best friend. "Shhhh, shhhh. It will be fine, she just needs some time to process this." Jane hugs Maura close, trying to comfort her and berating herself for not having been more of a help.

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Should I continue with this story?


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note:** I wanted to get this posted to keep my story going before tomorrow's episode. However, I am very tired and wasn't really capable of proof-reading. Also, my french is super-rusty. So please excuse any mistakes! As always, feedback is appreciated, both positive and constructive! It is what keeps a writer going! (Also, cash. But I realize the likelihood of that... ;-) )

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Maura was finally sitting at the kitchen island, more playing than eating her food, but still occasionally taking a bite of the dinner Angela had cooked. It had taken a good amount of persuasion, both from Jane and Angela, to get Maura to eat, but after the mother-daughter-duo had insisted, Maura had finally relented. The doctor still didn't feel like eating, but she knew Jane would not let her go to sleep without at least some food in her system. She was glad that her best friend was there to hold her, talk to her, take her mind off the events that had transpired earlier this evening.

When the doorbell rang, Maura looked at Jane with pleading eyes. Needing no words from her best friend, Jane knew Maura wanted her to deal with whatever was out there.

Jane opened the door and saw a young redhead standing there, seizing her up. "You don't look like me at all. Mom said we look alike." The girl scrunched up her nose, clearly irritated and confused.

Jane looked at Maura, still sitting at the kitchen island, then back at the girl on the doorstep. "I think you're looking for Maura. I'm Jane." Jane extended her hand and invited Maura's sister in.

"Cassandra," said the woman as she stepped into the house. She looked at Maura, her face bright and smiling. "So you are my sister!" Cassandra exclaimed, walking over to Maura and hugging the doctor. "I always dreamed of having an older sister, even though I knew that that was impossible. Guess it wasn't all that impossible after all." Maura stiffened, barely accepting the hug without making any attempt at reciprocating.

"**Half**-sister. You are my half-sister. We only share one parent, our mother, so that makes you my half-sister." Maura stated a scientific manner, barely looking at Cassandra.

The girl shrugged. "I don't care. Half is better than none, in my book."

Maura nodded, staring at the plate of food in front of her as though it was the most fascinating science project she had ever encountered. Silence fell as Cassandra looked around the room, exploring the house her _half_-sister lived in.

Jane pushed her mother forward, urging her physically to break the awkward silence.

"Your name is Cassandra? That is a beautiful name. I'm Angela, Jane's mom." Angela smiled as they shook hands. "Can I offer you something to eat or drink?"

"I already ate dinner, but if you have some dessert…." Cassandra said, eyeing the many dishes on the table.

"I have some tiramisu if you like, made it just this morning."

"Oh yeah, that sounds great!"

Angela made herself busy pulling out four dessert plates, taking the tiramisu out of the fridge and carefully cutting it into pieces.

"So, how did you get here?" Jane, always the detective, asked, trying to strike up a conversation with the young woman.

"Well, mom told me all about Maura when she came back from dinner all upset. I made her drive me here, would have walked if she hadn't agreed to drive me."

"Where is your mom now?" Jane asked curiously, her eyes on Maura's face, waiting for some kind of a reaction or emotion.

"Out in the car, deciding whether she wants to come in or not."

At that, Maura looked up from her plate to stare at Jane, panic on her face. Cassandra, blissfully unaware of the tension in the room, kept looking at Jane.

"All of you live here? You two a couple or something?" The girl asked, pointing her fork back and forth between Jane and Maura.

Jane chuckled. "What? No, I don't live here. My mother is just staying in the guest house temporarily." Jane's face and voice didn't show the emotion she was feeling at Cassandra's comment. She knew people generally assumed that her relationship with Maura was more than just friendship and she herself had wondered about that in the past sometimes, but she knew Maura was straight - _loved_ men in fact - so she didn't dwell on the subject. Sure, she liked to take care of and protect Maura and loved spending time with her, but wasn't that just as much a definition of best friends as it was of lovers?

Angela, surprised by Cassandra's off-hand comment about her mother, walked over to Maura, putting a plate of Tiramisu in front of the doctor. "Would you like me to invite your mother in? Maybe she wants some dessert too?" Angela asked softly, while she rubbed her hand over Maura's back soothingly. The younger woman looked up at her substitute-mother and nodded, giving her a small smile despite the knots in her stomach.

As Angela walked outside, Jane once again tried to strike a conversation with Cassandra, hoping to pull Maura out of her shell and into actually talking to her sister.

"Cassandra, what do you do now? Are you still in school?"

"Well, I just graduated," the girl said with pride in her voice, raising her arms above her head to strike a pose, a full smile on her face. "Now I'm waiting for the fall semester to start. I'll be attending to Boston University." At that, Maura finally looked up from her plate and eyed Cassandra. There was a topic she was comfortable discussing, something that had nothing to do with family, adoption or their mother.

"What are you going to major in?" the doctor asked with genuine interest.

"I haven't decided yet. Probably biology, but I'm really not sure yet. I want to be a scientist, but I can't seem to choose."

"Well, biology is a good start. You can take a few elementary classes to experience all the sciences before you make your final decision. What kind of a school did you go to before?"

"Lycée française. We moved around a lot, often lived in places where I didn't speak the language. So it was easier to go to those schools, where I could just pick up where I left off at the previous school."

"Ah, tu parle Francais is, alors?" Maura smiled, finding more and more commonalities between her and her younger sister. Half-sister, but she didn't want to dwell on that since her sister didn't seem to mind either.

"Oui, bien sur. Je meme prefer Français de l'Anglais."

Jane smiled at the interaction between the redheaded women, glad that Maura had somewhat returned to her upbeat and happy self. Not wanting to interrupt their bonding, she still didn't want to feel like a fool listening to a conversation she couldn't understand. She cleared her throat, cutting off Maura's response.

"Remember, not all of us went to fancy schools in Europe." She teased, smiling at her best friend.

Maura chuckled and smiled back, glad that her best friend was there to calm her and make her laugh. She turned her attention back to Cassandra, who was eagerly asking her questions about her schooling in Europe.

As the sisters continued their conversation, sharing their experiences with each other, very different and still similar in some ways, Angela was outside the house, trying to get Hope to open up to her.

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Up next, a conversation from one mother to another and will Hope actually face Maura again?


	3. Chapter 3

I had a really hard time with this chapter, for some reason. I just couldn't get it down on paper, but I hope you still like it!

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Angela stepped outside, looking around for the car which had Maura's mother sitting in it. She found it parked across the street, the woman occupying it already looking at her. So Angela walked across the street and opened the door.

"May I sit?"  
"Of course." The doctor looked tired and sad, her eyes red from crying. She gave Angela a small smile, then looked out the window at the house again.

"I'm sorry about Cassandra, I hope she was polite. She is very stubborn, unfortunately."  
"Oh, don't worry about her. She is eating Tiramisu and talking to the girls."

Hope smiled at Angela's calling two adult women "girls", but she didn't comment on it. She didn't know or understand the dynamics of their relationship and felt that somehow, Angela was a mother to Maura as well. It gave her a little pang in her heart, to think that Maura had two mothers, but neither of them was her.

"You know, there is plenty of tiramisu left, if you want some. It's homemade, my grandmother's recipe." Angela tried the food approach, which worked for her most often. Most people, especially when upset, allowed her to comfort them with her cooking, which pleased her immensely.

"I can't. I'm sorry." Hope sighed heavily, clearly fighting fresh tears from falling. "She must hate me." The last words were spoken so softly, Angela almost didn't catch them.

"Maura? Oh, Maura doesn't hate you, honey." Angela reached across the middle and took one of Hope's hands in her own. "Why would you think that Maura hates you?" Angela knew that she didn't understand adoption, how a mother could give her child away and never try to find it again, but she knew enough about Maura to know that the doctor was incapable of hating anyone, much less her biological mother.

"I said such terrible things." Tears started streaking down the doctor's face, as she turned to look at the other woman. "I said…." she chocked, unable to even say the words. Hope took a breath, studying the hands she was grasping onto in sheer despair. "I said that it was better that she had died." She let out a sob and collapsed into herself, pulling her hands from Angela's and wrapping them around herself. Angela gasped, not at Hope's words but her emotional outburst.

"Oh honey…" She muttered and wrapped her hands around the younger woman. "I don't know how or when you said that, but I'm sure Maura knows you didn't mean it that way. She just wants you to love her, like a mother, that's all."

Hope sobbed, then looked up at Angela with doubt. "Then why does she keep crying every time I am near her. She _must_ hate me!"

"No, no, no. She cries because she is overwhelmed with all the emotions of finally meeting you. She has been looking for you for a long time and now that you are here, she doesn't know how to process that." Angela finished with a court nod, proud of her motherly ability to understand what was going on inside of her daughter's best friend.

Hope sniffled, unsure whether to believe what Angela was saying. She felt so terrible after having said all these things to Maura. She had called her father evil, after all, something she was not proud of. She knew Maura had far more of her traits than her father's, simply judging by her profession and the love she seemed surrounded by.

"I… I just don't know how to face her. I don't know how to apologize. She doesn't seem to want to talk to me or accept my apologies, I don't even know why she invited me to dinner. Did she think I wouldn't eventually realize who she was? She does look like me a lot, doesn't she?"

Angela didn't know how much to tell Hope, was unsure how much Maura was okay with Hope knowing. However, she knew that if she could mend their relationship, Maura would forgive her if she gave away too much.

"Well, for someone so intelligent Maura can be a little thick sometimes." Angela laughed, thinking back at times where Maura would be unable to connect the dots or understand a joke. "Why don't we go inside and just have some dessert. You can just ask her how she is and how work is. That always works when Janey doesn't want to talk to me. I just get her talking on work and eventually, she'll let slip how she really feels. Just use your motherly tricks." Angela winked at Hope and laughed again. She squeezed the doctor's hands one more time and got out of the car. Hope followed, albeit slowly, across the street and up the stairs. When Angela's hand was already on the door handle, Hope gripped her hand and asked "Are you sure she wants me to come inside?"

Angela smiled and with conviction, said "of course! She's your daughter and she wants nothing more than to get to know you!"

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The three younger women were sitting at the kitchen island, devouring the Tiramisu Angela had made, when the mothers entered the house. Cassandra and Maura were laughing and talking and at first didn't even notice that their mother had come inside. Jane looked up and saw a motherly bond between Angela and Hope. She was glad to have an Italian mom, even if she got on her nerves sometimes. But it was good to have someone around who could get people to open up, draw them out of their shell.

Maura saw movement out of the corner of her eye and turned to look at her mother. The smile on her lips disappeared, instead replaced by an emotion Jane couldn't read. Was it curiosity mixed with fear? Apprehension? Jane wasn't sure, which was weird since she was so good at reading her best friend. All she knew for sure was that she wanted Maura to get to have a relationship with her biological mother.'

"Hope, would you like some Tiramisu? Angela made it and I must say it is delicious. Not too sweet, not too rich, just heavenly. Did you know that even though Tiramisu is famous and well-liked around the world, it is actually a quite young creation. There is some discussion whether it was created in 1969 or 1982" "Okay, thank you Maura. Would you like some?" Jane cut off Maura in the hopes of saving her friend some embarrassment.

Cassandra burst into laughter at Maura's explanation."Jeez, mom, she is _just_ like you."

"Language, Cassandra." Hope chastised, not wanting her younger daughter to resort to informal expressions like that. "And don't be rude, it is not a nice trait to have. But yes, Maura, I did know that. I've eaten Tiramisu in Italy in various creations and I do quite enjoy trying a new recipe."

The older doctor walked over to the kitchen counter, accepted the plate Jane was holding out for her and sat down next to Maura on the last available chair. They ate, Cassandra keeping the conversation flowing as both Maura and Hope stole glances at each other, both afraid to actually talk to each other for fear of saying the wrong thing.

After dessert, Hope explained that she had work to do the next day and asked Maura to get in touch with her whenever she felt ready. While Jane and Angela busied themselves with cleaning up the kitchen, the newly-reunited family of three said their goodbyes, managing, this time, without tears. When Maura finally walked back into the kitchen, she looked tired, but less sad. She thanked Angela for her help with a hug, which the older woman treasured, knowing how reserved the doctor usually was. She excused herself as well, aware that the two best friends probably wanted to discuss the evening's events.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jane asked, eyeing Maura carefully as she kept washing the pots and pans her mother had used to cook.  
"Not really. Right now I would just like to take a bath and go to bed. Will you stay with me tonight? Please? I do not want to sleep alone tonight."  
Jane dried her hands on a towel, then pulled Maura into a hug. "Of course I will. Why don't you go ahead and get started on that bath while I finish up here. I'll come meet you in there when I'm done."

Jane kissed the top of the smaller woman's head and then turned back to the dishes. Maura murmured a thanks and left for the bathroom, deep in thought.

When Jane was done cleaning up the kitchen, she poured a glass of red wine and grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge. She went to the master bedroom, put her beer on the nightstand and walked into the bathroom. The sight before her stopped Jane dead in her tracks. Maura was stepping into the tub, her back to Jane, completely naked. Jane stood and stared at the doctor for a split second before she gasped. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I thought you were already in the tub." Even though she apologized, she didn't stop staring at the beautiful woman before her.

"Don't be silly, Jane. Nothing you haven't seen before." Maura said, lowering herself into the hot water. She let out a long sigh and enjoyed the water for a moment, before she looked over at Jane. "Are you actually going to give me that glass of wine or are you just teasing me with it?"

Jane jumped, walking over to the tub and handing the glass to her best friend. She was blushing furiously, embarrassed that she had caught the other woman naked. She had just seen her best friend completely naked, in all her naked glory.

_Oh. My. God. I shouldn't have stared. She's my best friend, I can't stare at her nakedness. I need to get out of here. Drink some beer and erased that image from my mind forever. No, not erase. Remember. Remember how beautiful Maura is. How beautiful her body is. I don't think I have ever seen such a beautiful creature. And her breast - oh wow. Those must be the most perfect breasts ever created. No, I can't think like that. She's my friend, my best friend._

"Jane?" Maura asked with concern, as Jane just stared off into the distance. "Hey, Jane?" Jane looked at Maura, realizing that she was still standing by the tub.

"What?"

"You just spaced off. Are you alright?

"Yeah, I'm just… I'll just get my beer real quick. Be right back." Jane turned and left the bathroom, her checks crimson red and her center throbbing hot.

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As always, reviews are appreciated and make me happy!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Thank you for all the reviews, I really appreciate it! I try to write back when I can, but please know that even if I don't, I still really appreciate any and all feedback!

I have decided to write mostly Jane's story or side of things for now. I'm really unhappy with how Janet Tamero wrote last week's episode. My sister is adopted too and she met her bio mom when she was 16, so I feel like I have some personal insight into adoption. I just didn't buy Hope claiming that Cailyn was her daughter, as though she could only have one daughter. Anywho, enough of my soap box, I hope you enjoy my version.

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Jane did not sleep much that night. Her brain just kept thinking a million thoughts, mulling over the night's events in her head. She had seen her best friend naked and her reaction just didn't make any sense to her. She'd seen other women naked, at the gym or the precinct locker rooms, but she's never actually thought about their bodies. She had never noticed how beautiful they looked or was attracted to them. In high school, she had had a crush on her best friend, but it never went anywhere. As a female cop, she was always teased for being a lesbian and since she did like men, she pushed away any feelings or attractions to women. It worked for her, even if her dating life wasn't very successful. But there had been men in her life that she had been in love with, so she didn't feel like she was missing out on something. Now that she had seen Maura naked, she felt like she had been missing something. Not women, per se. Just Maura. She'd been missing Maura. Jane slept as far away from Maura as possible, worried that if she would touch her on accident, something might happen. She finally fell into a restless sleep, full of dreams of Maura in various states of undress.

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In the following weeks, Maura spent time slowly getting to know Hope and Cassandra. She'd invite them over to dinner or meet them at their house. Whenever they came over, Maura asked Jane to come to dinner as well and expected her to stay the night. Jane got used to sleeping in Maura's bed and even managed to stuff her feelings about the other woman deep down. When Maura went to dinner with Hope and couldn't reasonably invite Jane, she went to Jane's afterwards, spending the night there. The two friends even had a set of pajamas and spare work clothes at the other person's house, so used had they gotten to this routine. Jane didn't question it, as she sensed that Maura needed some stability in her life. Suddenly having a very involved and emotional mother in her life - and a sister on top - threw her for a loop sometimes and Jane was glad to help calm Maura down. When one day something interrupted their dinner, Jane was more than surprised at Maura's reaction.

Hope was just telling Maura about a procedure she had come up with when Jane's cell phone rang. She excused herself from the table and went into the hallway to take the call.

"Rizzoli? … Yeah, okay…. Got it. I'll meet you there."

Maura had tried to listen to the conversation, but wasn't able to hear it all. She got up as well and asked Jane whether they had a body as she put away her plate.

"No, just a new lead Frost found. I have to go, I'm sorry. Duty calls. But it was very nice to see you, Hope." Jane waved at the older woman, who smiled back at her.

Maura walked Jane to the door, a concerned expression on her face.

"Will you please come back here afterwards?" Maura asked quietly, not wanting Hope to hear.  
"It might get late, Maur. You know how it is, I might not even go home at all." Jane leaned in and gave the doctor a quick hug. "You'll be fine, you can do this." Jane flashed her most reassuring smile, despite a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach that something was wrong.  
"It's not that. Please, even if it is already morning, if you can, please come here." Maura pleaded, an expression on her face that Jane couldn't quite read.  
"Okay. I'll try. But I can't promise anything, alright?" Jane said, already out the door. Maura reached out and gave Jane's hand a squeeze, then watched her walk to her car and drive away. Realizing that it was rude to make Hope wait, Maura turned and walked back inside.

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When Jane returned to the house hours later, she wondered whether it was really a good idea to wake her best friend. They both had work the next day and she did not want to disturb Maura's sleep. But, reminding herself that she had made a promise, the detective entered the house as quietly as possible. After a short shower in the guest bathroom, she tiptoed into the master bedroom and slid under the covers, only to find a body already occupying her spot.

"Wha…?" Jane cursed under her breath and pulled her leg from the bed. She looked down at the woman who was laying on her side of the bed, clutching a pillow to her chest. Maura stirred and opened one eye to look up at Jane.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. Scoot over."

Maura smiled at Jane sleepily and closed her eyes again, not moving one inch. Jane sighed and walked around the bed to get in on the other side. As soon as Jane was situated, Maura rolled over.

"Thanks for coming back." Maura murmured and threw an arm across Jane's stomach. Jane froze, completely thrown off guard by the sudden body contact. Maura, on the other hand, snuggled closer to Jane.

"Night, night." Maura said as she kissed Jane's shoulder. The doctor sighed and her breathing slowed, indicating to Jane that she had in fact fallen asleep again. Jane didn't dare move, lest she wake her best friend again. She closed her eyes and tried to breath. She tried to clear her mind and ignore the fact that her best friend, her recently naked best friend, was cuddling her. Her recently naked before-her-eyes best friend was cuddling her and she didn't know how she felt about that. She took a deep breath, reminding herself that they were friends. Just friends, nothing more. After a while, her fatigue won over and Jane fell asleep, a small smile on her lips.

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**A/N:** This chapter was a bit shorter than usual, but I wanted to keep writing and post something before I went to bed tonight. As always, feedback is appreciated, especially what you like/don't like about this story! Do you want more of Hope and Maura's relationship (there will be a chapter on just them very soon) or focus more on Rizzles? Thanks!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Sorry about the delay in posting an update, my life has been crazy busy these last few days. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I tried to mix Maura and Hope's relationship into some Rizzles!

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While Jane was still out, chasing possible suspects and numerous leads, Maura was getting ready for another dinner with Hope. She was checking her make-up in the mirror in her office, smiling at her reflection. Looking at herself in the mirror, she was still amazed at how much she resembled her biological mother. The doctor hadn't gotten used to calling Hope "my mother" in her head, as she didn't want to hurt her adoptive mother's feelings. But she was working on it, reminding herself that it was okay to have two, maybe even three mothers.

Maura thought back on the past weeks, finding her mother and actually getting to know her more closely. At first, it had been awkward, talking to the woman who had given birth to her, then not seen her for 36 years. Having Cassandra there had helped immensely, because the bubbly teen always had stories to tell or questions to ask. The first time Hope and Maura went to dinner all alone, they didn't really know what to talk about or even how to talk to each other. But slowly, they had found topics, such as their work, which allowed them to talk freely and get to know each other. The more time they spent together, the more comfortable Maura became. At the same time, she enjoyed having Jane at dinner whenever possible. The detective calmed Maura and was a living, breathing reminder that people did love her, despite her quirks and social awkwardness. Jane's presence reminded Maura of the fact that she could be herself and that someone could still stand to be around her.

Hope was standing in the cafe, talking to Angela, when Maura exited the elevator. She saw the two woman talking and felt calm. As a child, she'd barely had a mother. Now, she had two women right here in Boston who gave her all the motherly love she could ask for.

Hope drove them to a small restaurant in Chinatown she had discovered while sightseeing with Cassandra. They sat on the floor by a small table and ate authentic cuisine, something both women loved. Maura asked Hope about her marriage and divorce, broaching a more private topic than their usual conversational subjects.

"We did love each other. I believe the main issue was my work, I was working too much. My ex-husband, Cassandra's father, he never complained. He never asked me to stay home or to work less. But eventually, he found women who were willing to stay with him. When I found out he had cheated on me, I left. It hurt Cassandra, but I couldn't stay. But please don't tell her what I just told you. She doesn't know that her father cheated on me. She adores him, I did not want to take that from her, on top of everything else. She was just 16, I didn't want her to view love that way."

"I'm sorry about that. It is socially less acceptable for men to express their feelings and needs, even though it hurts them in their relationships with women." Maura couldn't help herself, she always thought of the cause for people's behaviors. "But that doesn't make what he did okay or excusable." She added, softly.

"Thank you. I'm fine now. Cassandra did decide to stay with me, for which I am very grateful. It hurt for a while, but now I'm fine." Hope smiled at her daughter, glad that she was showing interest in her personal life. It made her feel like she was allowed to ask personal questions as well. "What about you?"

"Oh, there isn't much to tell. I've been in relationships, but nothing current."

"What about Jane?" Maura looked at Hope in surprise. She knew that her feelings for Jane had been changing recently, but couldn't quite grasp what it was that she was feeling. She wasn't quite ready to talk about it, though. She hated not knowing what she was feeling, a struggle that was constant for her since she had been a child.

"What… What exactly are you asking?" Maura finally said, not looking her mother in the eyes, but rather playing with the ring on her finger.

"I just thought you two had a special connection. I'm sorry I asked, I didn't mean to pry."

Maura looked up, suddenly. She grasped Hope's hands in her own, tears in her eyes.

"No, don't be sorry. You are allowed to pry. You are supposed to pry, it's what mothers do. My mother… my mother, she loved me. But she never asked, never pried. She was always content with the information I offered. I … I don't mind you asking." Hope nodded, tears in her eyes too. She felt like something special had just happened, like Maura had finally, truly let her in.

Maura pulled her hands away, suddenly uncomfortably aware of their bodies touching.

"I'm not sure how I feel abut Jane. She's my best friend, I love her. But recently, I've been feeling differently. I experience palpitations, xerostomia and palmar hyperhidrosis, when I get close to her. There are no medical explanations for my symptoms, so I think they must be psychosomatic. Unless I suddenly developed an allergy to a product she uses." Maura stared at her finger nails, having given all this information very quickly. She didn't want to look at Hope, fearing that she had embarrassed herself once again. Hope, on the other hand, was smiling at her daughter. She reached out and touched Maura's hands.

"Honey, it sounds like you are in love." Maura looked up, eyes wide.

"No, it can't be. Jane is my best friend. We've been friends for years. If I was in love, it certainly wouldn't be with her. Hope, she drives me insane. Not literally, obviously, but you know the saying? She drinks beer out of a bottle when I specifically bought beer glasses for her, refuses to accept any compliments about herself in a dress, and her manners! Oh, her manners! They are horrible. Just horrible." Hope tried very hard to suppress her smile, but she just couldn't contain it.

"Maura, you can be in love with someone who drives you insane. Being in love does't mean that you don't see the other person's flaws. It means that you like them despite their flaws. It means accepting that they aren't perfect, that they are human, and loving them for it."

"But that doesn't make sense. How can you love someone when you are well aware of their flaws?"

"You can only truly love someone _when_ you know all their flaws. That is the only way you can truly love." Maura looked at Hope with doubt in her eyes. She was chewing on her bottom lip, taking in what her mother had just told her, but doubted that she was right.

"Maura, do you know the following quote? Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all."

"Yes, it is from a poem by Lord Tennyson, called 'In Memoriam A.H.H.' While most people apply this quote to love, it actually refers to Lord Tennyson's grief over his best friend's death."

"I think this quote applies to love just as much as it does to friendship. These two things are not so different, you see? In love, just as in friendship, you realize that the other person is flawed, has faults and doesn't always seem rational to you, yet you seek their companionship. Do you know what I mean?"

"Yes, I do. I just don't understand how I can love Jane. She's my best friend."

"Sometimes, best friends make the best lovers. They already know everything about you." Maura continued chewing on her lip, unsure what to think. She understood what her mother meant, but wasn't sure whether it really did apply to Jane and herself.

"Do you want to be close to her? Be around her all the time? Cuddle her? Kiss her, even?" Hope asked, softly. She knew that if she pushed her daughter too far, Maura might brush her off. But she had to try, for her daughter's sake, to make her see what her feelings truly were.

"Yes, I think I want all these things." Maura sighed, still confused and not wanting to discuss the topic anymore. "Please don't tell Jane about this."

"Don't worry, honey. You are my daughter, your secret is safe with me." Hope said, hugging Maura. The younger woman was still reluctant to accept close contact, so Hope didn't push her, but she felt a hug was appropriate after the conversation they had just had.

"Did you know that the poem, In Memoriam A.H.H., was one of Queen Victoria's favorite poems? She once even said that, next to the bible, it was her greatest comfort after her husband passed away."

"Yes, I did know that. I have a special fondness of the poem as well. It just represents so many things for me. What are some of your favorite poems?"

And with that, the mother-daughter-due was back to a safer topic of discussion, allowing Maura a break from her emotions.

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The following days, Maura couldn't shake the conversation she had had with her mother. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't explain her feelings about Jane in a rational matter. She had never had a best friend before, so she had no way to compare her feelings to past friendships. She knew her feelings for Ian were similar to her feelings for Jane, but at the same time their relationships were so different, that they just didn't lend themselves to a comparison. Maura knew that if she wanted to figure out how she felt about Jane, she had to use the scientific method of doing an experiment to test her hypothesis. How she was supposed to do that without Jane noticing what was going on, she didn't know. But the doctor knew she had to do something, or else she was going to go insane with doubt.

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A/N: I haven't decided on how this next chapter is going to go. However, reviews make me decide faster and write faster, so please do leave a comment! I really appreciate every comment!


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** I'm not really sure where to take this story right now. I had it all planned but then I didn't get to writing it and now I forgot my plan. I hope to get back into the flow of this story soon. Until then, please still leave feedback so I can know how you guys feel about this story! This is only a short chapter, but I didn't want to leave you hanging for too long.

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While Maura was still contemplating her scientific experiment, Jane was trying to remember that her friend, her best friend, was just that. Her friend. Nothing more, especially nothing sexual or romantic. Jane tried to spend more time in her own bed, alone, getting away from her physically attractive friend at night. While she had always slept well next to Maura, her sudden awareness of the other woman's body made it harder to relax at night. Lying next to the honey blond, listening to her breathe and watching her chest fall and rise slowly, she couldn't help but look at her form. Admiring her curves, the softness of her body. While Maura was by no means overweight, her body was round and soft in all the right places. The detective had never been so aware of how gorgeous Maura was, even though she had commented on her looks plenty before. But laying there with the soft light of the moon shining through the curtains, Jane was amazed by her friend's beauty. She wanted to reach out, draw her finger across curves and through hair, yearned to touch the warm skin. But she held back, aware of the fact that friends didn't caress their friend's skin, especially not when said friend was sleeping peacefully.

The few times Jane did give in to Maura's requests to spend the night, she lay awake, wondering. Not only wondering about her feelings for her friend, but also her friends' feelings for her. She knew that Maura felt more at ease when Jane was around, but ever since Hope had entered Maura's life, the doctor had been even more insistent on having Jane around. While the detective didn't mind feeling needed, she did wonder. She knew that Maura's world had been turned upside down by finally meeting her birth mother (and sister, on top of that!), but she didn't quite understand why Maura had turned so dependent on her. She wasn't sure whether she was imagining things or whether Maura was really more insistent on her staying over, but Jane had a hard time reconciling her own need to remove herself from a potentially dangerous situation and her need to please her friend.

Lying next to the sleeping doctor, Jane thought back to one particular evening during which she had gotten called to work. Maura had asked her to come back afterwards, despite the fact that she knew that it would get late. When Jane had gotten back, Maura had been sleeping on her side of the bed. Jane couldn't wrap her mind around that one tidbit of information. Maura was very particular about "her" side of the bed, whether at her house or Jane's apartment. She refused to sleep on the other side, why Jane didn't know. But that night, when Jane had come back in the middle of the night, Maura had slept on Jane's side, clutching the pillow to her chest. Jane's gut told her that something about this fact was important, that she was missing something, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't figure out what it meant. After thinking about it for a while, Jane sighed, wondering whether she wanted it to mean something because she was recently attracted to her friend. She shook her head, trying to quiet the thoughts running wild, and turned to look at the sleeping beauty next to her. Jane reached out, drawing the doctor closer to her. Maura barely stirred, allowing Jane to engulf her and putting one hand on Jane's chest. Smiling and finally able to relax, Jane fell asleep holding the other woman.

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When Jane woke up the next morning, she could already smell the coffee brewing in the kitchen. Sleepily, she listened for sounds to determine how far Maura was in her morning routine. If she was already having breakfast, then Jane would have to get up. If, however, she was still busy in the bathroom, Jane could stay in bed for a few more lazy minutes. Jane heard the shower turn off and sighed. _Just a few more minutes._ She heard the bathroom door open and opened her eyes slightly, watching the honey blond walk into her closet with only a towel around her body. The detective's breath hitched and she was suddenly completely awake. She turned her head towards the closet and her eyes fell on the mirror in the closet. She could see Maura in the closet, back turned, pulling something out of a drawer. Jane willed herself to look away, to stop staring at her friend, her best friend. But her eyes were glued to the mirror and she watched as her friend turned, putting her towel down and pulling on a pair of dark red panties. Jane was transfixed, staring at the image in the mirror like it was a magical experience. When Maura adjusted her panties, Jane could clearly see her full breasts, completely uncovered. The detective almost protested when Maura put on a matching red bra, but she was still too mesmerized by the image to let out any sound. Staring at the breasts now encased by the red material, she licked her lips unconsciously. Something made her stir and she looked up, at Maura's face. With horror she realized that Maura was looking at her, slightly amused, a wondering expression on her face. _Shit._ The detective realized she had just gotten caught staring at her friend's half-dressed body by said friend. As much as Jane wanted to turn and bury her head in the pillow, she used every ounce of self-control in her body to smirk at Maura. _Just keep cool and she won't realize what's going on._ Maura smiled back at her, her face puzzled, before she turned to retrieve her dress. Jane groaned inwardly and decided that right then was the perfect time to get up and take a shower - a very, very cold shower. Anything to stop the heat on her cheeks and, more importantly, the heat between her legs, from burning her alive.

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**A/N:** Please remember to leave a comment! Your comments really do help me write! Also, for the adults amongst you, I am also working on a little smut story involving our two favorite ladies. Posted chapter 2 for that tonight too, if you're interested and mature enough!


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